Sex and the Suburbs

I knew I had a unique “gift” last year when I was at the first communion of a good friends’ daughter. I sat in the back of the church and instead of singing “Alleluia” along with all the other good Catholics; I started looking around at everyone.

I decided to guess who had gotten lucky the night before. Some of them were so obvious; they were practically skipping in their seats!

While I couldn’t be totally sure, I was cracking up and wondering how many Hail Mary’s I’d have to do to be absolved for my naughty thoughts. Who does that, especially in church? Well, apparently me! I have been called, “Naughty, bad, Tomcat, tease, flirt, nuts and wild” and that was all just today.

I had my “Aha” moment of just how sex crazed I am, when a friend from High School, Peter Payton told me that I was dirty. Now, I know you don’t know Peter, but even his closest friends call him pervert Pete. What does that say about me?

But, hey, come on, am I only the mom who loves sex in the suburbs? Nah, but maybe I am the only mom who is willing to talk about it.

See, here is the situation, I think about sex, a lot! You know the stereotype about women in their 30’s? Well, that is me. I am definitely in my prime and lovin it!

I also love porn, vibrators, handcuffs, dirty books, naked bodies, hard bodies, hard other things. Oh, and I love boobs. I am not a lesbian, but boobs are just hot! Plain and simple.

I have reconnected with a lot of old friends on Facebook and I’m thinking maybe on top of my profile picture there is a neon sign that says, “let’s talk sex.” Either that, or I must give off this secret sex vibe, because I swear I have heard more good sex stories from friends than Dr. Ruth and Howard Stern combined.

Let’s talk about sex baby…

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Tagged as: boobs, Catholics, church, Facebook, Sex, vibrators